During the exam...

I'm currently experiencing a very strange and uncomfortable feeling. At this precise second my AS students are sitting their AS law exams. It's the first "real" exam. We're had dozens and dozens of practice tests in exam conditions which they were threatened, bullied and bribed into working for but everyone always knew it didn't really "matter" and they were never really "alone" with it. Today it really matters and they are completely on their own.

4 minutes in -they should have read the paper and be half way through question 1

I always struggle when looking up and down at their little face staring up at me whilst they are sitting in the exam hall ready to start. I feel that I am personally responsible for this torment and what I see is that they are begging me to help them, like I always promised I would but this time I can't.

10 minutes in - finishing question 1, starting question 2 

I've been second guessing myself for days, I've done this a fair few times now and I know that I know my stuff but my confidence in my convictions has all but gone. I'm constantly thinking "what if, what if, what if". I know from experience that the thoughts and feelings I am feeling is similar to those of the students right now. The difference is that I can't do anything about the outcome now and my students can do everything about it.

18 minutes in - last few seconds on question 2 

I have to ask myself what I ask the students. Can you look yourself in the eye in the mirror and honestly say that you did everything you could? Then you can do nothing more and whatever the outcome you can feel proud of your achievement. Only time will tell if it was really enough.

90 minutes completed - End of the exam

I spoke to the students as they came out of the exam hall, lots of smiles. Apparently it was exactly as we'd told them and one student said "you know Miss, you're a really good teacher", the tone tells me that this exam has changed his opinion from earlier. Hopefully he'll still be saying this when he gets his results!