During the exam...

I'm currently experiencing a very strange and uncomfortable feeling. At this precise second my AS students are sitting their AS law exams. It's the first "real" exam. We're had dozens and dozens of practice tests in exam conditions which they were threatened, bullied and bribed into working for but everyone always knew it didn't really "matter" and they were never really "alone" with it. Today it really matters and they are completely on their own.

4 minutes in -they should have read the paper and be half way through question 1

I always struggle when looking up and down at their little face staring up at me whilst they are sitting in the exam hall ready to start. I feel that I am personally responsible for this torment and what I see is that they are begging me to help them, like I always promised I would but this time I can't.

10 minutes in - finishing question 1, starting question 2 

I've been second guessing myself for days, I've done this a fair few times now and I know that I know my stuff but my confidence in my convictions has all but gone. I'm constantly thinking "what if, what if, what if". I know from experience that the thoughts and feelings I am feeling is similar to those of the students right now. The difference is that I can't do anything about the outcome now and my students can do everything about it.

18 minutes in - last few seconds on question 2 

I have to ask myself what I ask the students. Can you look yourself in the eye in the mirror and honestly say that you did everything you could? Then you can do nothing more and whatever the outcome you can feel proud of your achievement. Only time will tell if it was really enough.

90 minutes completed - End of the exam

I spoke to the students as they came out of the exam hall, lots of smiles. Apparently it was exactly as we'd told them and one student said "you know Miss, you're a really good teacher", the tone tells me that this exam has changed his opinion from earlier. Hopefully he'll still be saying this when he gets his results!

How we use video technology in the teaching of A level and BTEC law in post 16 environment

My YouTube channel

I've been investing a fair amount of time recently in producing revision videos for YouTube. My grand summer plan is to get the videos sorted for all of the topics I teach.

Instead of posting each video here which, if you're not a law student is not going to be terribly exciting, I've decided just to link to my YouTube channel. It includes all of the videos as I put them on, as well as some weird and wonderful Youth Club stuff as well as videos of chickens, which everyone likes.

My YouTube Channel can be found here.

I'm a trainee teacher and I need help...

I've been at this teaching thing for four years now and I've learnt more in that time than I have in the rest of my life combined. I've also made more mistakes than at any other time.

Training to be a teacher is far more difficult than I think anyone ever imagines it to be. We've all been taught by a wide range of teachers who influence the practitioner that we become. We've had a "bad" teacher who is really struggling and we vow never to make the same errors as them. We also have the "good" teachers who make it all look effortless and they are the ones who lead us to the conclusion that we too can be like them.

I'm not expert teacher and I regularly make mistakes but I do want to contribute some answers for the benefit of trainee teachers and newly qualified teachers to reinforce that you are not alone in the struggles that you're having. 

CHICKENS!

It's been a while, in the interim I've had a horrible flu like bug that I suspect was actually full blow flu and I ended up taking more time off work than I've ever taken before. Being ill was surprisingly time consuming.

But after being ill we got some new additions which I am very excited about.

We have not  been imaginative at all with names. The white one is a white star called Whitey. The brown one is a crested leg bar called Brownie and the grey one is a speckledy breed and we called her, you guessed it, Speckledy.

The original plan was to call them all cute little girl names so that I could treat them like real children and no one would think it strange when I spoke about them. If I'd said: "I've got to get home because Anna-May is not feeling very well" no one would think that odd, the same cannot be said if I now say "I've got to get home on time, the white chicken is all over the place".

We've had them since Saturday and I think Brownie and Speckledy are settling in quite well. White Stars are apparently a notoriously flighty breed and so Whitey is taking longer to calm down, as you can see in the video.

Teacher - no voice

As most teachers do at some point in their career I recently got the flu and lost my voice. I’m not  sure why I was so surprised as it is one of the most common conditions that teachers suffer with, with the exception I suppose of stress, but people don't tend to talk about going off with stress where is they do talk about the trials and tribulations around your voice.

Having felt unwell for a little while I genuinely believed that I was getting better when I'm coughing fits left me with a bruised throat. In an unusual action for me I decided to take myself off to the doctor's, better safe and sorry to be told that if I wanted to avoid permanently damaging my voice I needed to be quiet completely quiet for the next three days. At the mere suggestion that maybe I could go to work and not talk, the doctor was notably unimpressed and I asked whether I was genuinely serious about getting better. At this point I decided it was probably best to start resting and just accept that I had to stay at home and keep my mouth shut for three days.

In my somewhat fever addled brain I believed that I would spend 3 days productively doing all the work that I wanted to catch up on but haven't been able to because other things have been getting in the way. I think I was experiencing something very common for teachers which is the denial of being unwell. I sat down at my desk at home, having emailed everyone I love to tell them what the doctor said, with the intention I'm doing some really fantastic. I planned to spend three days marking with the depth and clarity of feedback that I always want to give. However it became very clear very quickly that I was far too unwell to actually do this. The most I was able to do in those three days was write a detailed email sending in cover work which, in my heart of hearts I know wasn't done, but I felt better knowing that I've done my part of the bargain.

I try not to speculate too much on what if but I can't help but wonder whether, had I given up a little sooner and taken some time off when I first started to feel unwell whether I would have been able to avoid all of this. As teachers, we genuinely believe that are students won't be able to do it without us, that we are indispensable. I do still believed to an extent this is true the reason why I didn't take the time off is because I know how close the A-level exams are. There is the constant pressure both from the students and from above to get the results. Results are key, and you do whatever it takes to get them and that's what I was feeding off. The sad fact is I knew full well but I was putting my health at risk and that I was in danger of doing permanent damage to my voice which is the main tool of the trade because in the forefront of my mind was results and targets. This is just wrong.

I'm a great believer in setting goals and trying to stick to them maybe this is why I was so focused on my achievement data and not allowing my illness to get in the way that I allowed this to happen. So I'm setting myself a new set of goals. I need to stay focused on the results but I also need to see them in context. I can't sit the exam for the students and I am no use if I am unwell and overwhelmed that I can't function. I'm taking this opportunity to have a change of attitude. I became a teacher because I was so stressed and unhappy  that the way sometimes where I really didn't see the point of going on. I need to do everything in my power to ensure that teaching doesn't get like that as well . I'm embarking on a new regime of self-care where are far more strict with myself on what I eat how much sleep and relaxation I get, regular exercise and not allowing my work life to dominate my whole life.

Flip learning - Blackmail

With the idea of me working less (eventually) and my students working more (also eventually) I've invested some time in creating flip learning videos for A2 law students learning their property offences. I've previously done this with theft but it took such a long time that I never did it again. Before I was trying to achieve perfection but, with a bit more experience, I know that a perfect video is no more effective than an 'alright' video. Although this one clearly has audio of the police helicopter hovering overhead and I can clearly detect a moment of indecision in my voice where I decided whether to rerecord the section again, you wouldn't know that if I hadn't told you. The end result is that my students have a video to view before class and after class to embed and consolidate their learning. I have a resource which I can use for years to come (until they redraft the Theft Act, so I think I'm alright for a while).